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how to stop caring how other people see me

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  • how to stop caring how other people see me

    A lot of sensitive people, care a lot for how people see them, they care a lot for self image. This got bad and good, but the bad things are that it will cause you to become shy or unable to do something you want to do because of other people perspectives and opinions on you.

    In order to cure this problem, we need to understand why we care for how others see us. First, we care for how other see us because of self image, we are so clinging to our own self image. We don't like to have anything bad linked to our self image. If people think bad about us, we will maybe dislike or even hate that person, in order to protect our own perfect self image. Or if people think bad about us, some people will feel bad about themselves and causing them to have negative feelings.

    in order to stop caring how other people see us, we need to break away from self image. We should not like or dislike our own self image, but choose the neutral way to our own self image. This can be done through meditation, which it teaches people to unbound and feel liberated from whatever clinging and sensation as well as emotions. Besides, we should also not like or dislike how other people see us, even when people think bad about us, we should not dislike them. If you are able to treat all these in neutral way, remove all like and dislike feeling, where like will lead to craving and clinging and dislike can lead to hatred negative feeling, we will be able to stop caring how other people see us, and we can start doing our own stuffs more efficiently.

    to be able to treat all these feeling in neutral way, you need to meditate. You can search more on how actually meditate can lead you to this way. Anyway this is just my opionion, if you have a better explanation, feel free to share with us.

  • #2
    I was recently reading an article which looked at it from an evolutionary / survival standpoint. It basically stated that people care what others think of them due to social status within a group being 'better for their survival'.


    • #3
      Originally posted by Royleeyy View Post
      We should not like or dislike our own self image, but choose the neutral way to our own self image.
      Meditation sure does a thing. Although in my own case, I do different ways. May it be influenced by watching too much movies or reading too much books, I came to like myself because I am me. I came to acknowledge my own flaws and learn to accept them and find ways on how to better them. I learned how to be selfish, concentrating on ones' self instead of giving focus to other things or to anyone. With that, I came to ignore how people see me.

      But yes, there are times when I couldn't help but be conscious. But then again, I remember I have people with me who knows me best which heals everything pretty quick.

      This is in my case, though.
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      • #4
        Royleeyy do u have any suggestions of books or something for beginners in meditation.?
        I have always been interested, just to lazy and busy to research.


        • #5
          Actually, I started learning meditation because my brother is so into it, that his main focus in his life now is just about meditation, nothing else. So I try to search and understand what meditation is through googling and youtube. Anyway here are two channels on YouTube which you can look at it.

          Vipassana Meditation - as taught by S.N. Goenka in the tradition of Sayagyi U Ba Khin It is a simple, practical way to achieve real peace of mind and to lead a happy, useful life. Vipassana means "to see things as they really are". It is a logical process of mental purification through self-observation. From time to time, we all experience agitation, frustration and disharmony. Vipassana enables us to experience peace and harmony by purifying the mind of suffering. It leads to the highest spiritual goal of full liberation from all mental defilements. These videos are bought to you by Vipassana Research Institute (VRI) a non-profit-making body with the principal aim of conducting scientific research into the Vipassana Meditation Technique. The financing for running VRI comes mainly from donations. If you wish to make a contribution to this effort (100% tax exemption for Indians), please visit https://www.vridhamma.org/donate-online May all be benefited. May all beings be happy. ©VRI

          Actualized.org is a catalog of over 400 hours of advanced videos about self-help, psychology, emotional mastery, philosophy, metaphysics, epistemology, sociology, spirituality, psychedelics, nonduality, mysticism, consciousness, love, and more. Our focus is a deep understanding of the nature of reality, life, and the inner workings of the human mind. We tackle deep questions such as: What is reality? What is consciousness? What is God? What is the point of life? What is happiness? How do I live the good life? How do I become successful? How do I master my emotions? How to I avoid suffering? etc. Actualized.org is not just armchair philosophy. This understanding is practical and applicable to improving the quality of everyday life. Everything we talk about has real-world consequences. Actualized.org is a non-ideological teaching grounded in direct experience and contemplation. All claims made on this channel are testable and should not be taken on faith or turned into an ideology.

          I would recommend the Vipassana, by Goenka more than Actualized channels. Anyway, it's a good way to know more and understand what meditation is, just by watching and listening to explanation from meditation experts, in the starting.

          Here is the most recommended video, though looks boring, but the longer you watch it, the more you will know about meditation.


          • #6
            I used to overthink a lot. Thinking about what other people say about me or how they see me. But now (I try), I have this quote from Hannah Brencher to live by "The best gift you are ever going to give someone-the permission to feel safe in their own skin. To feel worthy. To feel like they are enough." And hope that people do the same for me.